Dear Ace Tomato Co.,

I would like to apply for a position within your organization as a GLG-20. I have strong people skills, understanding of modern cryptography, and I’ve seen nearly every movie Chevy Chase has ever made. There’s one small problem that I’m sure you can find a way to work around: I’m allergic to ninjas.

I know that you use them extensively in your training program. It’s pretty standard procedure, and really a best practice that I can’t argue with. However, I break out in to the worst hives whenever I’m around them for more than a few minutes. It’s pretty sad, really, because they really can be so much fun (ninjas, not hives).

I believe that a ninja-free training course would likely be sufficient in this day and age. One can be relatively certain that the Soviets haven’t employed ninjas in any capacity for year. Unless you have field operations in Canada (the Canadians are well-known to employ ninjas for all manner of internal security), skipping the ninjas would likely cause no harm.

Thank you for your consideration, and I eagerly look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

Corey Porter

This entry was posted on Monday, August 15th, 2005 at 10:21 pm and is filed under Letters to Nobody. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.