Dear Tooth Fairy,

Hey, is there any chance you could stop by the house tonight? The Kid lost another tooth today, and he’s antsy to get rid of it. If you could make it by before 10:30 and have some time to hang out we could have a few cool ones or whatever.

Do you get a lot of time to kick back and socialize when you’re making the rounds? You can’t be responsible for teeth world-wide, can you? There’s some sort of regional thing, right? Do you do just Los Angeles, or do you do all of California, or some portion of the south-west or what? If you have some sort of Tooth Fairy get togethers in Vegas or Reno or Tulsa or someplace like that where all the Tooth Fairy’s world-wide show up, I’ll bet that they’re pretty wild. Probably the last thing you’d want at one of those is to wake up hung over with a big stack of quarters under your pillow!

Here’s a question: are you guys union? I’ve not heard of you ever going on strike, so I’d guess not. Conditions must be pretty good for you to all be independent. The benefits are ok, right? I mean, you’d have to have good dental coverage, wouldn’t you. Have you ever considered organizing? I’d bet that you could at least get better hours if you did; maybe shorter routes. Something like that. Think about it.

Anyway, I’ve got to go. You’re not cookies and milk, right? I always get you and that other guy mixed up (don’t worry — I’ll take care of them in the morning if you don’t eat them). Hope tonight’s shift goes well!

Sincerely,

Corey

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 15th, 2005 at 8:35 pm and is filed under Letters to Nobody. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.