obfuscated.org

At Del Mar
Originally uploaded by corey_porter.

On the way home from the movie Saturday night, my car threw up the “Service” light. Not “Service Engine Soon” which is secret code for “dealership service department needs a new pair of shoes,” but “Service,” which means “no kidding, jerk, get this looked at.” Not wanting to burst in to flames while driving to work, I took the car in to see Avo at Foothill Smog. Avo is pretty rad, always does a good job and never overcharges, so I say screw the dealership (also I’m about 50,000 miles out of warranty, so…).

Since I was on foot, I got to take the Metro Gold Line in to the office. For your viewing enjoyment I took a few pictures that are available as a photo set on Flickr: Taking the Train to Work, 09/22/05.

I heard from Avo at lunch, and apparently it’s either a $80 fix or a $800 fix (the problem being related to the cruise control, so it seems unlikely that I will burst in to flames). He gave the $80 fix a go and wants me to let him know if the problem resurfaces. Yay Avo!

Dear All Radio Stations who Publish their Playlists On the Magic Internet Machine,

Thank you! I know I’m not the first to hold this opinion, but I just wanted to say that the fact that I can find out what you are playing at any time without calling in and sounding like a complete tool is the greatest thing since sliced bread. You are all so rad for doing this.

For instance, right now I’m outside listening to Bobby Hutcherson’s “Components” off the album of the same name. I had no idea what it was, and all it took was me firing up a browser and checking KKJZ’s playlist to find out. How neat is that? Pretty darn neat, that’s for certain.

Now, I know that if I truly loved music, I’d just know what everything was. These fancy-pants internet playlists would be of no value, because I’d be able to tell who was playing what, when it was recorded and who was in the audience without waiting for the DJ to tell me about it. How cool would I be then? Maybe if I were really cool I could go to parties and drone on about how So and So’s 1959 recordings are so much better than their 1961 recordings. Hoo boy, that’d be cooler than I can comprehend.

Needless to say, I am not that particular variety of cool, and I in fact greatly appreciate all of you find radio stations that let me find out in my own little digital way what is playing. You provide a fine service, and we all as listeners are better off because of it.

Sincerely,

Corey Porter

Lunch at the Chip Shop - a study
Originally uploaded by corey_porter.

Often times I have lunch with my coworkers at Lucky Baldwin’s, a.k.a. The Chip Shop, a.k.a. The Winchester. The food is nothing to write home about, but their beer selection is unbeatable. Here is a short photo essay of lunch at the Chip Shop. I hope you enjoy it.

Of note is that this week at the Chip Shop is the Sierra Nevada festival. They have (I think?) all of Sierra Nevada’s beers available on tap. There are also super deals available on schwag from both SN and Lucky Baldwin’s. If your trips to The Winchester are infrequent, I would recommend making one this week for the festival.

GOOD MORNING
Originally uploaded by corey_porter.

If I weren’t me, I’d wake up every day of my life and think to myself, “I wonder what Corey’s office looks like.” It truly is one of the great mysteries of the universe. Speculation regarding the in’s and out’s and what-have-you’s of my lavish office abounds. Photographers from glossy entertainment magazines have been beaten senseless by security trying to snap picture of my place of work. The Crown Prince of East Lansing, Michigan has contacted me in regards to becoming a part owner.

Fortunately for myself (and for you!), I am me, and as such am afforded almost daily access to my exciting office. Because I’m such a nice guy, I’ve assembled a photo set of my office for your education and enjoyment.

Casey Jones you better watch your speed.
Originally uploaded by corey_porter.

On my way to pick The Kid up at school today I passed this sign. PTA recruiting drives are nothing new, so I didn’t think anything of it. As soon as I saw the sign I without thinking about it started singing softly to myself. “Driving that train, high on cocaine / Casey Jones you better watch your speed.” Which would have been funny if it wasn’t right in front of the principal’s office. I just wish that there was a DARE poster or similar up next to this one. That would have been truly funny.

Dear John Coltrane,

I would like to respectfully apologize for not listening to your album “Giant Steps” as planned this evening. All the appropriate plans and accommodations were made to enjoy your wonderful recording, but it just didn’t work out.

Honestly, I had everything set up. I was sitting outside enjoying a New Belgium Sunshine Wheat. “Cousin Mary” had just started when WHAM — thunder. Really! In September! In Los Angeles! That just doesn’t happen. Despite the fact that thunderstorms had been forecast since Saturday, well, I just didn’t believe that it would really happen. Oops!

Anyway, it started raining really hard. I did my best to tough it out, but, well, I got wet and I couldn’t really hear the music any more. That sort of defeated the purpose.

Thanks for listening, and I do hope you understand. I’ll give it another go some time real soon.

Sincerely,

cp

Well, it seems that my fifteen minutes of Zawodny/Mindset fueled fame is up. Proper order has been restored to the universe, and Dangerous Dave Pennock is now the Lab’s resident net.celebrity. I’ll note, however, that Dave’s claim to fame — much unlike my own — is legitimate; along with Stewart Butterfield from Flickr, Dave was named one of MIT’s Technology Review magazine’s 35 innovators under the age of 35.

Dave does some of the coolest work here at the lab. The short list on his web site includes “information markets, ecommerce, Web analysis and modeling, auctions, recommender systems, machine learning, and artificial intelligence.” He’s also one of the guys behind the Tech Buzz Game that YRL did in conjunction with O’Reilly.

So congratulations, Dave! You are a much more deserving net.celebrity than I am.

Dear Friday and Saturday,

As it turns out, sometimes you have better things to do than blog. This would be unfortunate if it weren’t truly fortunate.

Yours,

cp

Dear Tooth Fairy,

Hey, is there any chance you could stop by the house tonight? The Kid lost another tooth today, and he’s antsy to get rid of it. If you could make it by before 10:30 and have some time to hang out we could have a few cool ones or whatever.

Do you get a lot of time to kick back and socialize when you’re making the rounds? You can’t be responsible for teeth world-wide, can you? There’s some sort of regional thing, right? Do you do just Los Angeles, or do you do all of California, or some portion of the south-west or what? If you have some sort of Tooth Fairy get togethers in Vegas or Reno or Tulsa or someplace like that where all the Tooth Fairy’s world-wide show up, I’ll bet that they’re pretty wild. Probably the last thing you’d want at one of those is to wake up hung over with a big stack of quarters under your pillow!

Here’s a question: are you guys union? I’ve not heard of you ever going on strike, so I’d guess not. Conditions must be pretty good for you to all be independent. The benefits are ok, right? I mean, you’d have to have good dental coverage, wouldn’t you. Have you ever considered organizing? I’d bet that you could at least get better hours if you did; maybe shorter routes. Something like that. Think about it.

Anyway, I’ve got to go. You’re not cookies and milk, right? I always get you and that other guy mixed up (don’t worry — I’ll take care of them in the morning if you don’t eat them). Hope tonight’s shift goes well!

Sincerely,

Corey

Dear The Time Between 6:00 And 6:30 When I Am Usually Asleep,

I am writing to inform you that I will be visiting tomorrow morning. Please do not take this correspondence as a cause for alarm. There will be no formal inspection of your work, nor will I asking you to perform any duties out of the ordinary. Consider this, if you will, a social visit.

Why, you ask, do I not stop by more often? Well, I’ll tell you: I don’t like you. Nothing personal, mind you. I’m sure that you’re a wonderful time of the day and that everybody who spends your thirty minutes awake is much better for it. You simply portend bad things for me, so I make a practice of avoiding you.

It’s always something unusual — and rarely the good kind of unusual — when we see each other. Either I’m having a hard time sleeping or somebody in the house is sick or I have somewhere to be at an altogether unfortunate hour. Take tomorrow, for instance: I have a appointment with my dentist before work. That doesn’t exactly scream “fun,” does it?

There are rare occasions when I do quite enjoy seeing you. If I’m leaving early in the morning for a vacation, you’re my favorite time of day in the world. On days when I barbecue a brisket, our time together is marvelous. These times are few and far between, however. Because of this I am sad.

In closing, I hope our time tomorrow will be as pleasant a visit as possible. Please do not take personally any unkind remarks I might make, as they are certainly not meant maliciously.

Yours,

Corey