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Mark Cuban suggests in Time to allow hard drives pre loaded with Music….and change Harry Fox – Blog Maverick – www.blogmaverick.com that a push delivery system for electronic content (music is discussed specifically in this article) be developed. The basic idea is that your service provider throw down some number of tracks on to your player every day or week or whatever, and you’re charged for them if and only if you listen to and keep them.

At first, I didn’t like this idea. It seems like it’s not a lot more than a vehicle for the labels to push the artists that they want to promote on to me. That wouldn’t be cool at all.

What I wonder now, though, is if this service had a really killer recommender system, could it not be very cool? If I got a big bunch of tracks every now and again that genuinely appealed to me, that’d be the greatest thing. I’m always grateful to find new music that I like; having somebody else do it for me would be super.

Contrasted with the current pull systems — subscription services like Yahoo Music Unlimited or Napster. Sure, you can find and listen to all different sorts of new music, but you really have to go out and find it yourself. Even if they had a great recommendation system, there would still be the activation energy required to seek it out. When I was using Yahoo Music, I always just fired up KRS1 or Miles or Dylan and called it a day. It was easier, and the results were more than good enough. If I woke up in the morning with a big pile of songs that I was very likely to enjoy on my player, though, I’d definitely listen to them.

Building such a recommendation system would be tough. You’d have to be Yahoo or similar to have enough data to make a stab at it. Still, if you could pull it off, I think I’d sign up.

Have you ever been a couple days in with a few days still to go on something that turned out to not be quite as funny as you thought it would be? Yeah, me too. Maybe it’s because I’ve done the two boring sports — baseball and American football — that I don’t really like. It seems like both previous tournaments came out the same way: at the end of the day, it was either indians or giants winning the day.

Well, I’ve got a sure-fire cure for this minor literary malaise: The WNBA! They have all sorts of nuts names that the NFL would never even consider. Plus they don’t have that many teams, so I can get through this one relatively quickly. Here goes!

WNBA Tournament

1. Charlotte Sting
2. Connecticut Sun
3. Detroit Shock
4. Houston Comets
5. Indiana Fever
6. Los Angeles Sparks
7. Minnesota Lynx
8. New York Liberty
9. Phoenix Mercury
10. Sacramento Monarchs
11. San Antonio Silver Stars
12. Seattle Storm
13. Washington Mystics

Sting v. bye

A slow start, but we’ll make it through this. Sting

Sun v. bye

OK, so we have to do two of these. No big. Sun

Shock v. bye

Who puts 13 teams in a league?! Geez! Shock

Comets v. Mystics

All right! This is some action! I’m all the way for anything even vaguely magical winning, but I’m pretty sure that if a comet ran in to a wizard or what have you, it’d be game over. Comets

Fever v. Storm

A storm is immune to any sort of health-related ailment. Storm

Sparks v. Silver Stars

What temperature does silver melt at? I’ve got to think that it’s a lot higher than what you’d get off any sort of sparks. Silver Stars

Lynx v. Monarchs

Lynx are small and stealthy enough to steak past any sort of palace guard, and they’ve got CLAWS AND TEETH to rip in to some monarch flesh! Lynx

Mercury v. Liberty

Liberty is a wonderful thing. It’s part of what our country is based on. Mercury, on the other hand, has those rad shoes with wings on them. You can’t top rad shoes. Mercury

WNBA Quarter-finals

Sting v. Storm

I don’t care if you’ve got a whole swarm of hornets or a big fist full or scorpions. There’s nothing with a stinger that a little lightning and hail can’t take care of. Storm

Sun v. Silver Stars

Sparks wouldn’t do it, but I bet you the sun could melt the hell out of all the silver in the world. Sun

Shock v. Mercury

Speedy as he is, Mercury would be out like a light if you ran a current through him. Shock

Comets v. Lynx

Stealthy cats with claws and what have you don’t do so well when giant balls of ice and rock and metal from space run in to them. Comets

WNBA Semi-finals

Sun v. Storm

I’ve been watching for months now and I’ve not seen a storm permanently block out the sun. Sun

Shock v. Comets

Science has yet to study the effect of electricity on comets, but we know exactly what would happen if you ran a comet in to some sort of generator or power plant or battery or something like that. Comets

WNBA Finals

Sun v. Comets

The comet has had some impressive wins so far. It’s got an impact that’s hard to ignore, what with its traveling through space at zillions of miles an hour and being made of heavy, hard stuff. Those are impressive stats.

The Sun, on the other hand, is a giant, burning ball of gas. It’s surface temperature is almost 6,000K. That’s really hot. I’m pretty sure that a comet would melt or explode or something like that before it got within 100 miles of the sun. So this contest, really, is an easy call.

The Connecticut Sun are your WNBA Champions

More Sports with Woody

Jill finished her NaNoWriMo novel. Long story short here: she’s written a 50,000+ word novel inside of the month of November. Congratulations, maximum respect and &C!

My uncle posted pictures of a toy racecar that he’s trying to identify. Do any of you know anything about this car?

It’s music meme time, boys and girls! This one comes from Scalzi’s The Whatever. The basic idea is that you take a song that’s been covered frequently and do a quick review of five of the covers. Always a fan of covers, this one strikes me as a lot of fun.

My Selection: “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right” by Bob Dylan

Cover Artists:

JC Lodge (Tribute to Bob Dylan): A reggae cover, Lodge’s version makes for a pretty amusing diversion. Despite the genre shift, the soul of the original is intact. Rating: B

Joan Baez (The First 10 Years): Not surprisingly, this is pretty close to the original in terms of its sound. It’s slightly slower and more melodic, and in a way Baez’s voice rings more true than Dylan’s. Rating: A

Waylon Jennings (Phase One: The Early Years): A very faithful country rendition. Rating: B-

Arlo Guthrie & Pete Seeger (Pete Seeger & Arlo Guthrie Together in Concert): It’s only fitting that Arlo cover Dylan; Dylan got his start covering Woody Guthrie. Aside from historical significance, however, there’s little special about this performance. Rating: C

Johnny Cash (Orange Blossom Special): Easily the most talented vocalist to tackle the track, Cash takes a very simplistic path with the song, and it works. He totally makes the song his own, which in my mind is the mark of a truly good cover. Rating: A

Mike Ness (Cheating at Solitaire): Ness takes a somber, thoughtful song and turns it in to a running, defiant anthem. This is easily as good as Hendrix’ cover of “All Along The Watchtower.” Rating: A+

Inspired by Cheers’ “Woody,” we took a brief look at who would be the top dog in the NFL if matches were decided only by team name. I think the results were pretty convincing. How well might the same reasoning be applied to Major League Baseball?

Again, initial seeding was done alphabetically. I also had to give a couple of teams byes in the first round. Instead of figuring out a good way to do this, I just went with the first two teams on the list.

AL tournament

AL Tournament

1. Baltimore Orioles
2. Boston Red Sox
3. Chicago White Sox
4. Cleveland Indians
5. Detroit Tigers
6. KC Royals
7. LA Angels
8. Minnesota Twins
9. New York Yankees
10. Oakland Athletics
11. Seattle Mariners
12. Tampa Bay Devil Rays
13. Texas Rangers
14. Toronto Blue Jays

Oriels v. bye

Oriels

Red Sox v. bye

Red Sox

White Sox v. Blue Jays

Birds aren’t the toughest things in the world, but they beat a pair of socks. Blue Jays

Indians v. Rangers

Rangers typically needed the calvary to bail them out against the nature-wise indians. Unfortunately for them, baseball isn’t a tag-team sport. Indians

Tigers v. Devil Rays

Devil Rays are some sort of fish, right? If it were a dolphin, maybe, but it’s not, so: Tigers

Royals v. Mariners

Ancient or otherwise, men of the sea beat inbred silver spooners at single combat. Mariners

Angels v. Athletics

The Athletics are probably in pretty good shape, but that won’t help them against the supernatural. Angels

Twins v. Yankees

Twins on account of there are two of them.

AL Quarter-finals

Oriels v. Blue Jays

How exciting: the battle of the birds. Blue is my favorite color, so: Blue Jays

Red Sox v. Mariners

Bean-town will hate me for this, but I can’t in good faith suggest that sailors could be beaten at anything by a pair of socks of any color. Mariners

Indians v. Twins

Unlike their northern cousins, I don’t think indians would be fooled by their opponent having a twin. Indians

Tigers v. Angels

I don’t think an angel could bring himself to harm one of nature’s greatest creatures. The Tiger, on the other hand, would have no problem making a snack of an angel, wings, halo and all. Tigers

AL Semi-finals

Indians v. Blue Jays

It’s a miracle that a bird made it this far! Unfortunately, their Cinderella run must come to an end. Indians

Tigers v. Mariners

I actually saw this one on ESPN2 the other day. The Mariners thought they could best the Tigers by tricking them on to the boat and then forcing them overboard. Unfortunately, they forgot that tigers can swim. And have claws. And Teeth. It wasn’t pretty. Tigers

ALCS

Indians v. Tigers

Against any other man, I’d definitely give the edge to the big cat. However, the indians’ respect for and understanding of nature gives them an insurmountable edge over any animal. Indians

NL Tournament

1. Arizona Diamondbacks
2. Atlanta Braves
3. Chicago Cubs
4. Cincinnati Reds
5. Colorado Rockies
6. Florida Marlins
7. Houston Astros
8. LA Dodgers
9. Milwaukee Brewers
10. New York Mets
11. Philadelphia Phillies
12. Pittsburgh Pirates
13. San Diego Padres
14. San Francisco Giants
15. St. Louis Cardinals
16. Washington Nationals

Diamondbacks v. Nationals

I don’t care what kind of allegiance to country you have. If a rattlesnake bits you, you’re in bad shape. Diamondbacks

Braves v. Cardinals

Birds are cute and all, but they can’t top man. Braves

Cubs v. Giants

A full grown bear might stand a chance, but a mere cub wouldn’t last three rounds with a true giant. Giants

Reds v. Padres

I don’t think a communist would be inclined to fight fair against the preacher-man. Reds

Rockies v. Pirates

Mountains are large and majestic. And inanimate. Pirates

Marlins v. Phillies

Horses always beat sport fish. Phillies

Astros v. Mets

“Mets” is short for “Metropolitans,” right? Sounds like they’d pee themselves if they had to face the dog from “The Jetsons.” Astros

Dodgers v. Brewers

One team sounds much more drunk than the other. I can totally see the brewers smashing a bottle on the table and putting it to the Dodgers throat. Brewers

NL Quarter-finals

Diamondbacks v. Pirates

Snakes are dangerous, but not after you cut their head off with a cutlass! Pirates

Braves v. Phillies

This is the indian v. animal story that we’ve already heard like 1,000 times already. Braves

Giants v. Brewers

Drunk, belligerent and armed with a broken bottle is no match for being like 44 feet tall. Giants

Reds v. Astros

I really like the line in the movie “Fletch” when Fat Sam tells Fletch that he has some reds and Fletch responds, saying “do you mean Communists, Sam?” Reds

NL Semi-finals

Braves v. Pirates

Everybody knows that Ninjas always beat pirates. Indians are a lot like ninjas, especially in that they beat pirates in a fight. Braves

Giants v. Reds

Communism never would have taken hold if it had to fight off men with feet the size of Hondas. Giants

NLCS

Braves v. Giants

This would be just like Custer’s Last Stand, except the giants would just up and step on the indians. Giants

World Series

Indians v. Giants

Didn’t we just do this one? I mean, seriously. Sometimes it seems like there are only two or three actual team names. Oh well.

The Giants are your world champions!

More Sports with Woody.

Our fine nation will be holding its 1,000^th execution since the death penalty was reinstated some time this week. There are few ways in which our nation is worse. One is never in the right to kill another person. The fact that we as a nation (64% of us, according to the article) don’t understand that is sad beyond comprehension.

A quote in the article from Steven Stewart, a prosecutor from Indiana, illustrates the backwards thinking that goes on in the wee little minds of death penalty supporters:

“There are some defendants who have earned the ultimate punishment our society has to offer by committing murder with aggravating circumstances present,” he said. “I believe that life is sacred. It cheapens the life of an innocent murder victim to say that society has no right to keep the murderer from ever killing again.”

It’s amazing that the words “I believe that life is sacred” can come out of the mouth of somebody who supports this particular brand of barbarism. If you are at all in favor of the death penalty for any reason, you by definition don’t believe that life is sacred. The fact that we have people who don’t grasp this very basic fact trying criminals and writing our laws horrifies me.

I hope one day we get in line with the rest of the right-thinking world and do away with the death penalty. Until then, here’s Amnesty International’s death penalty page and Wikipedia’s death penalty page.

Remember that episode of “Cheers” where Woody was betting on the NFL pool? He picked 12 of 12 games one week and decided to put $1,000 on his picks for the next week. His method: decide who should win by looking at the team names. If Chicago was playing Miami, you know pretty well that Chicago would win because a bear would almost certainly beat a dolphin. In the show, Woody hit all 12 of the games the week he bet, but Sam hadn’t placed the bet because Woody’s method couldn’t possibly work two weeks in a row. Woody was pretty angry, but he eventually forgave Sammy.

Perhaps Woody was on to something? At the very least, it’d be an amusing diversion to run through all of the leagues and see who would emerge victorious if they played one big single-elimination tournament. Let’s start as close as we can to Woody’s system by having a go with the NFL first. I’ve seeded the teams alphabetically by their names.

NFC tournament

1. Arizona Cardinals
2. Atlanta Falcons
3. Carolina Panthers
4. Chicago Bears
5. Dallas Cowboys
6. Detroit Lions
7. Green Bay Packers
8. Minnesota Vikings
9. New Orleans Saints
10. New York Giants
11. Philadelphia Eagles
12. San Francisco 49ers
13. Seattle Seahawks
14. St. Louis Rams
15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
16. Washington Redskins

Cardinals v. Redskins

A little bird against an indian? Sorry, an indigenous person? Either way, the red man wins. Redskins

Falcons v. Buccaneers

Bird faces pirate. Easy call: Buccaneers

Panthers v. Rams

Our first evenly-matched bout of the tournament. Rams are pretty strong and bang the crap out of things with their heads. They’re also fast and good at climbing. Panthers, on the other hand, have all the attributes one would expect of a big cat: they’re strong, fast, stealthy, smooth, and totally sweet. They’re the ninjas of the animal world if you stop to think about it. On those grounds, I give them the round. Panthers

Bears v. Seahawks

I’m not quite sure what kind of bird a Seahawk is, but I’m pretty sure that there’s not a bird alive that a bear couldn’t handle. Bears

Cowboys v. 49ers

At the end of the day, this boils down to the weapons. The 49ers — miners — have pick axes and what have you. Cowboys, on the other hand, usually have a six-gun, which I’d take over hand-to-hand weapons any day of the week. Cowboys

Lions v. Eagles

Despite an eagle’s inherent eye-clawing prowess, I have to go with the big cat. You just can’t ignore the tale of the tape here. The lion has the eagle in height, weight and reach. Lions

Packers v. Giants

I like the Pack and had family in Wisconsin for the longest time, but that doesn’t change the fact that a giant would crush a normal man regardless of profession. Giants

Vikings v. Saints

Saints are pious and good. Vikings rape and pillage. You can probably guess which one I’d take in a fight. Vikings

NFC Quarter-finals

1. Panthers
2. Bears
3. Cowboys
4. Lions
5. Vikings
6. Giants
7. Buccaneers
8. Redskins

Panthers v. Redskins

I’m pretty sure that this has happened in nature once or twice. Your typical native American will have a good handle on besting animals in combat. Despite its ninja-like majesty, the panther looses. Redskins

Bears v. Buccaneers

You know me, and you know that I love pirates, but there’s no way a cutlass-wielding scalawag could best a bear. Plus, the pirates probably took a draw or two of the grog after the first round, which couldn’t help. Bears

Cowboys v. Giants

Bullets are useless against men of that size. Giants

Lions v. Vikings

Unlike native peoples, vikings have no natural affinity for combat against fauna of any sort. If instead of lions we were talking about villagers or young maidens, vikings all the way, but as things stand: Lions

NFC Semi-finals

1. Bears
2. Lions
3. Giants
4. Redskins

Bears v. Redskins

Once again, the native man’s mastery over beast carries the day. Redskins

Lions v. Giants

The savvy bettor would take the Lions + the points here, but that’s all for naught when the giant steps on the lion’s tail and tears its limbs off one by one. Giants

NFC championship

1. Giants
2. Redskins

Giants v. Redskins

This would be the ultimate battle if the redskin were the American Indian member of the Superfriends who could turn in to a giant. Or if he were and indian who turns in to a wolf. (that’s wolfen, man.) As is, it’s hard to imagine that a group of normal men — in tune with nature or otherwise — would stand a chance against a team two or three times its size. Giants

AFC tournament

1. Baltimore Ravens
2. Buffalo Bills
3. Cincinnati Bengals
4. Cleveland Browns
5. Denver Broncos
6. Houston Texans
7. Indianapolis Colts
8. Jacksonville Jaguars
9. KC Chiefs
10. Miami Dolphins
11. New England Patriots
12. New York Jets
13. Oakland Raiders
14. Pittsburgh Steelers
15. San Diego Chargers
16. Tennessee Titans

Ravens v. Titans

A situation we’ve seen before with a small animal facing a giant humanoid. To top things off, this time they’re immortal! Titans

Bills v. Chargers

Bills is a stupid name. Chargers

Bengals v. Steelers

Steel workers are a hardy breed, but I don’t like their chances against a tiger. Bengals

Browns v. Raiders

Pirates can be drunk, belligerent and mutinous, but even at their worst they could beat a color. Raiders

Broncos v. Jets

Everybody loves horses. It’s a scientific fact. Look it up. That said, it’s hard to establish air-superiority when you can’t fly. Jets

Texans v. Patriots

History answers this one for us. Is Texas still a sovereign nation? Nope. Patriots

Colts v. Dolphins

This is a tricky one. Horses are bigger and stronger, but the fight would have to be in the water where the dolphin would hold a natural edge. Dolphins

Jaguars v. Chiefs

We need to quit pairing animals against indians. It’s just not fair. Chiefs

AFC Quarter-finals

1. Bengals
2. Chiefs
3. Dolphins
4. Patriots
5. Jets
6. Raiders
7. Chargers
8. Titans

Bengals v. Titans

The giant semi-god wipes the floor with the tiger. Titans

Chiefs v. Chargers

Chargers are some sort of lightning bolt, right? Weren’t Native Americans afraid of lightning or something like that back in the day? Chargers

Dolphins v. Raiders

A battle for the sea! Pirates are bigger and stronger than dolphins, but dolphins are so much smarter that I have to imagine that they’d find a way to win. Dolphins

Patriots v. Jets

Patriotism is a wonderful thing, but it doesn’t do you any good when your opponent is flying at 1,000 miles per hour and has all different sorts of guns and missiles pointing at you. Jets

AFC Semi-finals

1. Dolphins
2. Jets
3. Chargers
4. Titans

Dolphins v. Titans

They’re the smartest animals next to man, but as mentioned before, Titans are huge and immortal. So long, and thanks for all the fish! Titans

Jets v. Chargers

I saw a show on the Discovery channel that said that most airplanes can be hit by lightning and not really bat an eye. Which is kind of a letdown this late in the tournament. Jets

AFC championship

1. Jets
2. Titans

Jets v. Titans

Mythology versus military technology. Science versus legend. I’m sure the D&D crowd could come up with a way for the Titans to win, but nobody would hear them down there in their parents’ basement eating pizza and rolling 5d12. Assuming anything in the US Air Force designed and built after the early 1980’s, Jets in a walk. Jets

Superbowl

Giants v. Jets

Not unlike NFL in real life, the championship game is a letdown. The well coached team with good balance between offense and defense already beat a run and gun offensive virtuoso in the conference finals. Why wouldn’t they do the same in the Superbowl?

That said, anything can happen in the Superbowl, and it is an all New York game. Perhaps the Giants come up with some wonderful strategy where they scale The City’s skyscrapers and swat the Jets out of the air like King Kong. It could happen.

Realistically, though, this is as easy a call as any of the Jets’ other contests. There’s just no substitute for technology and air superiority. I’m honestly surprised that they don’t win the Superbowl each and every year.

The Jets are your Superbowl Champions!

More Sports with Woody.

OK, so it’s the day before Thanksgiving and you’re scrambling for a quick and easy way to put a turkey together. Look somewhere else. I don’t do that sort of thing. I smoke turkeys. They take upwards of ten hours to prepare.

That said, it’s late and I have to get up in a little more than four hours tomorrow morning to catch a flight, so I’ll give you the very abbreviated version of my turkey preparation ritual.

Smoked Turkey

Ingredients:

• 1 Butterball turkey — I like to get about 1lb. per person
• 2 bags of oak wood chips
• 1 Brinkman water smoker
• 750ml Signatory Vintage Islay 5yr single malt Scotch Whisky

If you live in LA, you can find this particular bottle of scotch at the Wine and Liquor Depot. It should run you about $20. If you live outside of LA you’re on your own.

Preparation:

1. Two days before you want to cook your bird, put the wood chips in to freezer bags and start soaking them in the whisky. No, I’m not kidding.
2. Thaw the turkey out. Don’t brine it. That’s why you got a Butterball — they come pre-brined.
3. One day before you want to cook your bird, make sure that you have an arseload of charcoal. You don’t want to run out. Trust me.
4. Build a good fire. That was fun, wasn’t it.
5. Set the smoker up over the fire. Pour the whisky remaining in the woodchip bags in to the water pan.
6. Put the turkey in the smoker. Make sure you have a meat thermometer in the thickest part of the turkey’s leg.
7. For the next ten or twelve hours, do the following:
   • When the smoker reports being colder than the “ideal” temperature, add charcoal.
   • When the smoker reports being hotter than the “ideal” temperature, don’t.
   • When there isn’t so much smoke coming out of the smoker, put a few more wood chips on the fire.
   • Enjoy a quiet day doing something simple and rewarding.
8. Once the thermometer reports that the turkey has reached the appropriate internal temperature (which I can’t remember off the top of my head — maybe 170? 180?), take it off the smoker, cut it up and eat it.

I’ve done this four times now, and it’s made me quite happy each and every time.

The NBA’s 2006 All-Star ballots (which are freakin’ impossible to link to, so you’re on your own to find them on the NBA site) are out. Here’s my ballot:

West

Forwards: Elton Brand and Tim Duncan

Sorry, KG. Elton and the Clippers are having a great year, and your team kind of sucks. Good thing Amare is hurt, or this would have been an impossibly hard decision. Yes, I’m aware that I’ve voted in two 4’s; I really wanted to vote for Brand this year, and how could I not vote for Duncan?

Guards: Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash

What a horrible homer pick in Bryant, one of the most hated players in the game. It’s a damn shame that he’s still the most talented guard playing. Nash loses some of his luster when not playing with a huge finisher like Amare, but he’s last year’s MP3 and the best pass-first 1 in the game.

Center: Yao Ming

I didn’t vote for Amare as a forward because he hasn’t played all year, but I would have for center because all the other choices are so underwhelming. Yao seems like some sort of strange 7′6″ consolation prize.

East

Forwards: LeBron James and Jermain O’Neal

Remember when the east didn’t have more than one or two star forwards? That’s certainly not the case any more. LeBron was an obvious pick here — he’s the best player in the game, and the most fun to watch (The Kid and I are seeing him play against the Clips’ in a couple of weeks) — but Artest or Prince would have been great as well. I could have gone with ‘Sheed or Wallace at the 4, but O’Neal is the power forward in the east, so he’s in.

Guards: Gilbert Arenas and Allen Iverson

This hurt. I really wanted to vote for Dwyane Wade, but Arenas is having an amazing year, and leaving out A.I. would be like leaving out Shaq. Which brings us to…

Center: Shaquille O’Neal

How could it be any other way? No other player even deserves consideration.