Cold remedies that don’t work
- Sharp stick in the eye (left)
- Listening to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” backwards
- Curry paste, rubbed in to genitals
- NyQuil and vodka, up
- Luge
- Verbal abuse from checker at Vons
- Disdain for all mankind
- Cuban cigars
- Bowling (provided you don’t win the beer frame)
- 1980’s video game smash hit “Joust”
- Progressive Rock
- Chestnuts roasting on an open fire (yours — the nuts, not the fire)
- Hittin’ switches and/or gettin’ your swerve on
- Wind sprints
- Kittens (broiled)
- Gunpowder suppositories
- Teleportation
- Curling with the LAUSD advisory board
- Rod Setwart’s “Maggie May”
- Cold pills from Mexico provided by someone called “Mr. Sticky”
- Annual outing with the Polar Bear Club
- Southwest flight 2762
Isn’t it cute how these things always hit just as you start a vacation? I think I’ll stick to rest and OJ, as the above just didn’t do it for me.
December 19th, 2005 at 4:20 pm
I seem to have a cold too. Hit yesterday. I’m thinking mine was triggered by really bad allergies on Sat.
I’ve been sticking to vitamins, Echinacea tea (with zinc + vitamin c), soup, and lots of rest. So far it’s been ok. At least the cold hasn’t gotten worse. I suppose that can be taken as a bad thing since I’m well enough to be at work today.
But on the other hand, I got this spiffy jacket!
December 19th, 2005 at 4:40 pm
Actually, it may be the double-gutter-ball in the beer-frame-heard-round-the-world (ala The Bambino) that really did you in :-)
December 19th, 2005 at 5:29 pm
What?! Joust is not the miracle cure? heresy!
December 19th, 2005 at 6:20 pm
I would recommend the Alka-Seltzer Plus Ready Relief Orange Zest. http://www.alka-seltzer.com/home/default.htm The best cold medication I have used so far - and they have the not quite yummy just slightly medicine-y orange zest flavor. For an added treat dissolve it in a “fancy” glass.
December 19th, 2005 at 6:35 pm
I miss Alka-Seltzer’s “so you had too much to drink last night, did you?” line. Those were great. Basically Alka-Seltzer + lemon + caffine. I’ve found, however, that you can achieve the same results by disolving a standard A-S in Mnt. Dew. (Just make sure that there aren’t any glow sticks included, else your stoumach will need to be pumped!)
December 20th, 2005 at 12:33 am
You can add random cough medicines from India to that list. I ended up with bronchitis in India, because their cough medicine was crappy.
What I would recommend is: soup with lemon and ginger in it. Rasam, a spicy lentil soup- get an MTR mix from the Indian grocery store near you, add a little salsa while cooking, and you’re good.
Vodka doesn’t hurt either.
-did you get my msg, btw?