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The best of craigslist features the amazing Star Wars Guide to the Candidates for the 2008 presidential election. Definitely worth a read.

Hillando Clintrissian

Here’s the thing. The Millenium Falcon was hers to begin with. She only lost it to Bill on a bet. Then she got caught up in that whole Cloud City thing in the Bespin system, which proved she could govern, I guess, but she’s kinda hoping you won’t remember that she totally sold out the Rebels to Darth Vader. That’s how J’han Solo wound up encased in Carbonite and Leia ended up in a bikini on a chain. Hmmm. Actually, not so bad! And Hillando did do some nifty piloting against the New and Improved Death Star. Didn’t she also record “Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)”?

Yesterday was such a great day in bizarre NBA news that I feel compelled to share with those of you who honestly don’t care. First up is a rare instance in which the NBA drops some grade-school science, invoking the “do over” rule:

The Atlanta Hawks and Miami Heat must replay the final 51.9 seconds of their game last month because the official scorer ruled incorrectly that Shaquille O’Neal fouled out, the league said Friday.

So before the next Miami at Atlanta game tips off, both teams are going to put they players they had available during the last game on the floor, set the scoreboard to 114-111, Hawks, and play for a little less than a minute. Awesome.

Next, a shockingly uncommon occurrence: a professional athlete beats the hell out of some dude and gets arrested:

The Herald cited a police report, which said Rice arrived at his wife’s house demanding to know what man she was with and what he was doing at her home in Coral Gables, Florida.

He then found the victim, Alberto Perez, hiding in a closet and began beating the man while screaming obscenities at him, according to the newspaper.

You know, it’s just sad that somebody with all the privilege of a professional athlete would… HOLY R. KELLY, BATMAN, DID HE REALLY FIND THE DUDE IN THE CLOSET!!!??? The article does not state whether or not the victim is a midget.

So there you go. Yesterday’s bizarre NBA news. I’m not quite sure how to gather all of my thoughts on the matter together, but I believe that Lakers center Andrew Bynum has some relevant thoughts on the matter:

Stephanie got me a subscription to Sirius for Christmas, and we were listening to its jazz channel this evening while doing the NYE thing. The first song I heard after midnight was Giant Steps. This bodes well.

Happy 2008, everybody.