obfuscated.org

Everybody agrees that Greg Popovich is one of the best coaches in the league. Now he can lay claim to the league’s — if not the entire universe’s — best sense of humor. To briefly set the stage, The Big Nickname has gone on record of late being incredibly chappassed about the Spurs playing “hack-a-shaq”, calling the technique “cowardly.” Pop has a little fun with this in the first game of the season.

If that’s not the greatest thing ever done in the context of sport, I’m not sure what is.

Happy anniversary, Stephanie! What an amazing two years. I love you!

2008-2009 NBA Preview

It’s that time again. The glorious fall marking the end of the dark, sportsless time between the tour and the NBA season. Sure, there’s baseball and American football to watch, but I don’t.

Last year

Briefly, let’s review what I guessed last year:

Individual Awards

I guessed KG for MVP, which was incorrect yet not a horrible guess. He did win defensive player of the year. Corey Brewer, my pick for rookie of the year, barely played. Oops. Andrew Bynum was definitely on track to win Most Improved before he blew his knee out. I feel pretty good about that pick. Pop was robbed of coach of the year, per usual. Mullen turned out to be an asinine guess at Executive of the year, as the Warriors self destructed.

Teams

Easily the worst of my team picks was the Hornets finishing last in the Southwest. I assumed that their 2006-2007 season was a fluke, but they moved in the exact opposite direction and finished second in the West. Next up was the Bulls and my guess that they would win the Central. However I think that was more a case of the Bulls underperforming than me just being stupid. They certainly had the players to finish much, much higher. (Although maybe not first.)

It’s worth nothing, though, that I did have the Celtics in the finals, which they did end up winning. (We’ll ignore that I had the Spurs beating them.)

So, on to this coming year.

Western Conference:

Southwest:

1. Hornets
2. Rockets
3. Spurs
4. Mavericks
5. Grizzlies

Previously the strongest division in the league, and, well, probably still the strongest. The Hornets were a young team last year and didn’t lose anybody, and Chris Paul is my pick for MVP. I think they’re the favorites to win. Houston is probably a bit of a gamble on account of the Ron Ron, but he usually keeps things under control for the first season or so with each new team. I think they’ll work things out. If the Spurs don’t come in third they’ll come in first. The only thing going against them is their age. The Mavs sure do have a high payroll, although that’s about it. Memphis may have three or four exciting games.

Northwest:

1. Jazz
2. Blazers
3. Nuggets
4. Timberwolves
5. Thunder!

Utah is a popular pick to win the West. Deron Williams is an amazing point guard — I like his game more than Paul’s, although I don’t think he has the flash to make MVP — and they’re one of the best coached teams in the league. The Blazers have a whole lot of talent but even more youth. They’ll probably do well this year, but not great for another two or three years. After that, watch out — provided they can keep the team together. The Nuggets won’t make the playoffs after giving Camby away. The Timberwolves traded away one of the most exciting rookies in this year’s class (Mayo) but may win a few more games for it. The “Thunder!” left one America’s nicest cities for Oklahoma and picked what is by far the worst name in the league. Maybe they’ll win 20 games.

Pacific:

1. Lakers
2. Suns
3. Warriors
4. Clippers
5. Kings

Last year’s conference champs add in another 7-footer (Bynum), have possibly the best bench in the league — if Lamar Odom is coming off the bench for your team, you’re in great shape — and have the league’s best player. I’ll be surprised if the win fewer than 60 games this year. The rest of the division… yeah. Not so good. The Suns traded away one of the league’s best two-way player for a mummified Shaquille O’Neil, they’re planning on starting on of Golden State’s former bench players, and their new offensive system will have Steve Nash running mostly half-court sets. I’d say that they aren’t playing to their strengths, but then they really don’t have too many strengths. That said, there are a lot of very good players on the Suns, so they’ll do well enough. The Warriors, Clippers and Kings aren’t really worth talking about. They’ll all be pretty bad.

Playoffs

1. Lakers
2. Jazz
3. Hornets
4. Rockets
5. Blazers
6. Spurs
7. Suns
8. Mavericks

The Lakers, Jazz and Rockets all win in the first round without trouble. San Antonio continues to have New Orleans’ number. Unfortunately, we don’t get another Lakers/Spurs conference finals, because those really are fun. Instead we get to watch Jerry Sloan and the Jazz lose to the pre-season favorites.

Eastern Conference:

Southeast:

1. Magic
2. Hawks
3. Wizards
4. Heat
5. Bobcats

What an amusing division the Southeast. You’ve got the young, talented and pretty-well coached team (the Magic), the even younger, even more talented, and sort of well coached team (Hawks), The not-so-young, incredibly talented, mildly-coached yet always injured team (The Wiz’), the tragically injured ever since they won that title team (The Heat) and the just plain bad, don’t-you-know-this-is-what-you-get-with-MJ-as-an-executive team. (The Bobby “Bobcat” Bobcats.) The thing is, three of these teams will probably make the playoffs. What is with the East?

Central:

1. Cavs
2. Pistons
3. Bulls
4. Bucks
5. Pacers

I’ve read this year that LeBron is now as big as Karl Malone was when he played. Considering that LBJ moves as well as any guard in the league, that’s pretty astounding. Unfortunately, there isn’t really a team around him. On the up side for the Cavs, the Pistons aren’t getting any younger or less complacent, the Bulls are still basically in disarray, the Bucks don’t have any players (Richard Jefferson and Michael Redd are their go-to guys? Really?) and the Pacers will be happy to just stay out of trouble with the law this year.

Atlantic:

1. Celtics
2. Sixers
3. Raptors
4. Nets
5. Liberty
6. Blue Devils
7. Shawnee Mission East Lancers
8. Monrovia YMCA 7-9yo Achievers Basketball
9. Nicks

Far and away the best division in the East, the Atlantic has last year’s champ, the twin-towers in Bosh and O’Neil up in Toronto and the league’s most underrated power forward in Philly’s Elton Brand. Any one of these teams could win the East. I would really like to see Philly win, but I think Boston is just too good. The brand of tough, defensive basketball they play is crazy hard to beat; they manhandled the Lakers in the finals last year, and the Lakers played pretty good basketball. Boston was just that much better of a team. Now that they all have rings they might not have as much fire as they did last year, but they still have more than enough to repeat as champions. The Nets should be awful, but they’re rebuilding and trying to clear cap for LeBron, so that’s OK. Amazing all NBA observers, the Nicks will lose 84 games this year.

Playoffs

1. Celtics
2. Cavs
3. Sixers
4. Magic
5. Raptors
6. Pistons
7. Hawks
8. Wizards

I’m thinking a Boston/Philly conference final in the East, with the Cavs and the Raptors losing out in the semi’s. To nobody’s surprise, Boston wins.

Individual Awards

Sixth Man of the Year

Laram Odom: L.O. assumes Ginobli’s role as America’s favorite bench guy who would be starting if not starring on nearly any other team in the league. He’s in a contract year and he’s contending for a title, so he definitely has something to play for. Also, I’m a Lakers fan, so I allow myself one obvious homer pick per year. This is it.

Other possibilities: Ben Gordon, Ron Artest.

Most Improved

Al Thornton: The biggest obstacle to this happening is the Clippers and the general derision that’s always heaped (deservedly) their way. Al had a really strong rookie year, and the players he was backing up are gone now. He should start at small forward and have more scoring opportunities than he knows what to do with.

Other possibilities: Al Jefferson

Rookie of the Year

Derrick Rose: A great college player and first overall pick on a team in a major media market without any other big stars? Can’t miss. Greg Oden seems to be the pundit’s pick for this one, but I can’t see him making it through the whole season after missing all of last year.

Other possibilities: Greg Oden, OJ Maoy.

Defensive Player of the Year

Kevin Garnett: If Boston is half as good defensively as it was last year, this should be an easy pick.

Other possibilities: None.

MVP

Kobe “Bean” Bryant: This award is Kobe’s to lose. He’s far and away the best player in the league, and he’s on what’s likely the best team in the league. He’s obviously the Lakers leader, and now that he’s stopped shooting for that single-tripple he’s making the rest of his team better. I just don’t thine LeBron, amazing as he is, is going to win enough games to take it away from him. Chris Paul might, but he’d have to have an even better year than last, and that would be tough.

Other possibilities: Chris Paul, LeBron James.

Coach of the Year

Jerry Sloan: Call it a lifetime achievement award if you want. His team is going to be great this year, and their success is always attributed strongly to his coaching.

Other possibilities: Greg Popovich, Mike D’Antoni if the Nicks are able to win more than 10 games.

Finals

Lakers over Celtics in 6.

Hola, Amigos!

Here’s a couple of old SNL videos that I find rather amusing. Please enjoy.

And then a more modern remake:

I am very much hoping that Elvis and Sarah Palin team up for yet another “Radio Radio” this weekend.

William Powell

You scored 7% Tough, 48% Roguish, 10% Friendly, and 38% Charming!

You are the classic rogue, a stylish rake with the devil of a wit and a flair for mischief, and you shake your martinis to waltz time. You are charming and debonair, but slightly untrustworthy, and women should be on their guard. If married, you are simply a bit of a flirt, even if it’s just with your own wife…but if you’re single, watch out. You usually rein yourself in to concentrate on one lovely beauty at a time, but with you, we never know. You’re an inviting partner, but there’s a playful devil behind your eyes, and those trying to get close to you should know they’re playing with fire. You’re stylish and fun, but you follow your own course, which may or may not include a steady gal. Co-stars include Myrna Loy and Carole Lombard, classy ladies with an adventurous streak.

Which is to say: I’m 15% more Roguish than Pat. That’s right!

This time from Erich

The rules:

• Grab the nearest book.
• Open the book to page 56.
• Find the fifth sentence.
• Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
• Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

And my entry:

In other words, it would seem that there really is no such thing as a free lunch, since even this hypothetical computer has its own infinite set of problems that are incomputable.

The moral of the story is that Gödel’s incompleteness result applies to all mathematical formalisms that are so complicated they can make statements about mathematics. Thus, no sufficiently complicated (or interesting) model of computation will ever be free of these basic limitations.

“Discrete versus Continuous,” from Chapter 4, “Postscript: Computation,” in Gary William Flake’s The Computational Beauty of Nature (1998) sitting on the credenza next to my desk.