What not to wear. [TEN DAYS OF PATMEME]
Day VI!
Top Six Gender-Appropriate Outfits I Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Wearing In Public (pics required)
Ok, this one I think I could do. First off, I can’t see myself wearing a dashiki.
I don’t know. Just not my thing. For similar reasons, the Canadian tuxedo doesn’t really work for me, either.
Sorry, Jay.
Since I’m not European, I’ll say that the speedo is right out as well.
I’m beginning to think that the Euro Speedo Dude is a myth, as they only Euro Dude beach frolicking stories I’ve every heard involved beachgoing au natural, which in its own way is better than the speedo. More honest, at least.
I can never remember the Safe Word, so the Gimp look is out.
Perhaps the most regrettable look ever — that I would not for a moment consider rocking, unless it was really, really funny, in which case maybe — is the frat-boy multiple collars, some popped, some not look.
What on earth are those guys thinking?
Finally, I’ll call upon the good doctor to let me know what not to wear:
“I’d like to get hold of some priests’ robes,” I said. “They might come in handy in Las Vegas.”
But there were no costume stores open, and we weren’t up to burglarizing a church. “Why bother?” said my attorney. “And you have to remember that a lot of cops are good vicious Catholics. Can you imagine what those bastards would do to us if we got busted all drugged-up and drunk in stolen vestments? Jesus, they’d castrate us!”
So I’ll not be dressing as the Pope, either.
