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To celebrate Presidents Day, Stephanie, Fletch and I took a trip down to scenic Yorba Linda and visited the Richard M. “Dick” Nixon Presidential Library and Museum. I’m a fan of Presidential Museums and my family is very, very understanding. Plus it meant getting out of the house. So everybody sort of wins, and especially me.

As soon as we got there we were knees deep in the awesome. It being Presidents Day and all, the library was waving the entrance fees for everybody. Of course this meant that it was an absolute zoo — we had to park in the overflow lot across the street, which is the exact opposite of how parking usually is at these places — but it also saved us $24. Braggable.

Further — further! — there was a gang of presidential impersonators hanging out in the lobby, including but certainly not limited to my all time most favorite president ever, Mr. Harry S. Truman.

Being a fan of the former president, I was very, very excited to whip out my “let’s mess with the impersonator” science and ask him to say hello to Tom Pendergast for me. But wouldn’t you know it, the second I told him that I was from Kansas City — an inexcusable rookie move on my part — he brought it up himself! Which was pretty cool, but less fun for me than him trying to make some assertion that he didn’t owe the entirety of his (character’s) career to the mob. Oh well.

Since Stephanie and I were last at the Nixon museum it’s been turned over to the National Archives and Records Administration (NARA). It was formerly run by the private “Gosh Golly we love us some Dick Nixon Library Foundation” or something like that. I think NARA has done a really bang-up job with some of the other museums it runs, and the Nixon museum has always been a little less of a museum and a little more of a shrine, so I was really excited to see what NARA had done with the place. They mentioned in the (formerly mandatory) intro film that their mission was to modernize the museum and make it more interactive, which would be a big, big step forward.

From there they launched in to the same film that they old Nixon Library Foundation folks put together, that glosses over Watergate, Cambodia, etc., and highlights Dick’s missions to China, which is well and good. But then it went on to glorify his time at HUAC, which strikes me as kind of crazy, as that’s perhaps the least-good thing he ever did to our nation. Oh well.

Much of the first section of the museum is about Nixon’s political campaigns, as is pretty customary for these museums. You can find the customary array of pins and buttons, all of which I think are great. They also have some pretty wonderful letters from dignitaries and celebrities to the Representative/Senator/Vice President/President available. Fletcher especially found the letter from Dr. King to then vice-president Nixon interesting.

The whole time we were there, I had a really, really hard time keeping my inner-14-year-old in check. Seriously. How can you not laugh at something like this?

From the campaign years we moved on to Nixon’s foreign policy. Like any president, he had his ups and downs, but it’s really hard to ignore him opening a dialog with China. Even though we don’t really agree with them on all so much, it’s useful that we talk to them. You know: keep them involved in the world’s conversation. (If only that weren’t such a contentious notion today.)

Of course, as every cold-war presidential library does (and should), Dick’s museum has a chunk of the Berlin Wall.

Maybe now that NARA is running things they’ll find a better way to display this. Reagan has his mounted outside overlooking mountains and what have you. (Where’s my picture of that? I thought I had one?)

Probably the most unfortunate thing about the RMNM&L is that it really gives short shrift to some of Nixon’s truly great accomplishments. For example, Nixon established the Environmental Protection Agency. Here’s the sum total of the mention it got:

Further, the reading of Miranda Rights became compulsory on Nixon’s watch. That didn’t even get a full display, instead just getting a blurb in his “tough on crime” display.

I think the contents of this are worth repeating:

When President Nixon took office, the cop on the beat had to carry an extra piece of “equipment” besides his gun and badge: the Miranda rules advised suspects of their rights. Richard Nixon changed the focus back to the victim’s rights

If you were Richard M. Nixon or his estate, wouldn’t you want to play that up?

Another brief 14-year-old moment. You all know the game with Spiro Agnew’s name, right? About how you can rearrange the letters? Yes, I’m aware that Dave Barry has been all over that one for ages.

Now, on to the Watergate room. Perviously this was a long, dark corridor with really small, dense and horrible white-on-black copy describing the events of watergate and “white house recordings” cued up to static. Now it’s not even that.

NARA is renovating the room, hopefully to include something that doesn’t make you want to leave as quickly as possibly, as was the intent of the previous exhibit. Notable missing pieces from the former exhibit: a letter from Ben Stein positively gushing about what a great guy Dick was. Notably still there: the best resignation letter, ever. I’ve patterned all save one resignation letters after this.

Rather unfortunately, it was raining and the birthplace museum was closed. This was certainly for the best, as tracking mud through a museum is rarely a win. A short recap, as I’ve seen the place before: it was really small. A bunch of folks lived there. Nixon played the piano.

New since I was last there is the Marine One that Nixon used. I heard from a family that was very excited about all things Nixon that George W. Bush himself rode in on the chopper when it was delivered to the museum. Mission Accomplished, I guess.

I would be remiss if I did not mention that neither Stephanie nor Fletcher are crooks.

Although Fletch is apparently a Vulcan.

Nixon’s final resting place is indeed on the grounds of the museum. It’s easy to bag on the guy, but at the end of the day he was still our president, and if you’re going to leave the world with a parting thought, it’s hard to beat the one on his headstone.

In the interest of equal time, I present the Canadian’s compelling argument against voting:

Here’s the thing: the more of the rest of you hipsters who decide to maintain a Zen-like aloofness and remain above such pedestrian things like politics and democracy, the more influential my vote will be. Past evidence suggests that you are more likely to vote against me than with me, so please, don’t vote.

California Voters,

Remember that today is SuperDuperTuesday. So bust out that senior citizen camouflage, hit your polling place and make democracy happen. You can find your polling place using the magic interwebs machine.

(True story: when I got to the Forgetful Acres rec room this morning, there was a huge TV blaring “VOTE YES ON {blah blah blah}” ads right outside the polling place. It was awesome. They turned it off when I pointed it out.)

(For those of you keeping score at home: Obama and “no.” See also CLV’s voter guide.)

The best of craigslist features the amazing Star Wars Guide to the Candidates for the 2008 presidential election. Definitely worth a read.

Hillando Clintrissian

Here’s the thing. The Millenium Falcon was hers to begin with. She only lost it to Bill on a bet. Then she got caught up in that whole Cloud City thing in the Bespin system, which proved she could govern, I guess, but she’s kinda hoping you won’t remember that she totally sold out the Rebels to Darth Vader. That’s how J’han Solo wound up encased in Carbonite and Leia ended up in a bikini on a chain. Hmmm. Actually, not so bad! And Hillando did do some nifty piloting against the New and Improved Death Star. Didn’t she also record “Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run)”?

I don’t care if it’s fake — and it has to be fake. There’s nothing this good in the entire universe. I checked — it’s amazing. I know who I’m voting for in the Republican primaries. (For all those times I’ll be voting in the Republican primaries.)

You know, I had no idea that there was a “stoned religious conservative” demographic to go after. Live and learn.

Or why they should! This can’t be true, but if it is, it’s the best thing to happen ever.

From a batshit crazy story about SQUIRRELS INVADING IRAN on the Washington post:

“A few weeks ago, 14 squirrels equipped with espionage systems of foreign intelligence services were captured by [Iranian] intelligence forces along the country’s borders. These trained squirrels, each of which weighed just over 700 grams, were released on the borders of the country for intelligence and espionage purposes. According to the announcement made by Iranian intelligence officials, alert police officials caught these squirrels before they could carry out any task.

“Fixing GPS devices, bugging instruments and advanced cameras in the bodies of trained animals like squirrels, mice, hamsters, etc, are among modern methods of collecting intelligence. Given the fast speed and the special physical features of these animals, they provide special capabilities for spying operations. Once the animals return to their place of origin, the intelligence gathered by them is then offloaded. . . .”

What would you do if somebody you had on a “Rogue nations” list started (supposedly) saying stuff like this? You’d take them out to a bar and get them drunk, that’s what you’d do! Because seriously, if they can come up with this sort of stuff sober, imagine what they can do after a few rounds. Maybe surreptitiously put some ocelot fur on your jacket before you meet up with them just to see if you can totally freak them out. You could even make a game out of it. For every genus they accuse of espionage, you drink. Just make sure that you’re taking a cab home if you’re out with Iran.

I don’t know how much international diplomacy actually takes place in a pub, but if this story is true much, much more of it should.

Pat pointed out a fascinating article about some of the possible pitfalls of using alternative fuels.

So last fall the Charlotte musician and guitar instructor spent $1,200 to convert his 1981 diesel Mercedes to run on vegetable oil. He bought soybean oil in 5-gallon jugs at Costco, spending about 30 percent more than diesel would cost.

His reward, from a state that heavily promotes alternative fuels: a $1,000 fine last month for not paying motor fuel taxes.

He’s been told to expect another $1,000 fine from the federal government.

And to legally use veggie oil, state officials told him, he would have to first post a $2,500 bond.

This strikes me as an absolutely fascinating legal/public policy problem. On one hand, I think it’s without question good for people to experiment and innovate with alternative fuels, and a large tax burden would do much do discourage this. On the other hand, it’s pretty obvious that it’s important for the rule of law to stand and for appropriate taxes to be collected such that roads can be maintained.

At current, there’s no obvious and straightforward way to make this happen. Sure, one-off waivers can be granted to individuals, but does that scale? (That said, does it need to? Is the “we really should have good rules in place to regulate them appropriately” threshold one that you don’t reach until a technology is pretty well mainstream?) I’ll be interested to see what sort of legislation pops up around alternative fuel cars.

On a personal note, I think VegOil cars smell like ass. But that’s just me.

The House seems to think that stopping the states from fighting Spyware is worth their time. I wonder if the Senate will….

The federal preemption provisions (Section 6), meanwhile, trump most of the stricter state laws that might have been used to go after badware vendors. This is particularly disappointing, as state laws have opened a new front in the war on badware. A few categories of state laws are preserved, including trespass, contract, tort, and fraud laws. And, in an interesting twist, H.R. 964 preserves state consumer protection statutes, but only if the state’s Attorney General is bringing the enforcement action.

Reading between the lines in Section 6, one thing becomes clear: this section is intended primarily to block the ability of private citizens to sue badware vendors under state laws. By consolidating all the enforcement authority against badware in the hands of the FTC and state Attorneys Generals, software and adware vendors are trying to quietly block consumer class actions that could target their misbehavior. For example, H.R. 964 would have made it impossible for EFF to use California’s Business and Professions Code 17200 (which allows private citizens to sue for unfair and unlawful business practices) against Sony-BMG for its spyware-laden copy-protection software.

McSweeney’s Pros and Cons of the Top 20 Democratic Presidential Candidates is pretty funny.

11.

ALLEN IVERSON

Pro: Instant offense. Con: Selfish with the ball; may have lost a step.

12.

IRA GLASS

Pro: Thoughtful; self-effacing; like many Americans, enjoys cable television. Con: At present, no budget line item exists for moody introspective music to underscore every statement president makes in order to make it sound more poignant.

16.

JESUS CHRIST

Pro: Could draw some initial interest from the Christian right until they research his actual positions in a deeper way; likable; strong leadership qualities. Con: Unkempt; pretty far left; messianic complex.

[Via]