obfuscated.org

Photo by Anne Bonney

More Vacuum Cleaners

There’s relatively little traffic between Monrovia and Pasadena at 5:30 in the A of M. Just thought I’d share.

For those of you playing along at home, my extra checks were in the box labeled “Office Double Misc.” I distinctly remember putting them in the “Al Qaeda” box, but I guess not.

Oh well.

Lance Armstrong isn’t riding this year, and my cable provider decided that OLN was a premium channel. Between not being able to watch for a twelve-peat or whatever and it being damn inconvienent to go to the pub at 9am, I’ve not watched any of the race this year, and that’s a damn shame, as it’s shaping up to be on of the most interesting yet.

In the 16th stage, top American rider and general classification leader Floyd Landis cracked and dropped to over eight minutes behind the leader. Now, 8:08. That’s a lot of time. One minute is considered a comfortable lead between top riders in this race. With only four racing days to go, Landis considered himself pretty much out of the race.

Out of the race didn’t even last a day, as Landis went on to beat the entire field by over five minutes. Now only 30 seconds behind the GC leader with three stages — one of which is a time trial, and Landis is the best time trialer of the race leaders — remaining.

So anyway, yeah. Good race this year. I recommend it.

This came in from a friend the other day. Webmeme Ho!, I guess.

Welcome to the NEIL edition of getting to know your friends! Okay here’s what you’re supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun! Just copy this entire e-mail and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to SOMEBODY FAMOUS— either a real person or fictional character. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to you. Some of you may get this several times … that means you have lots of friends!

What is your occupation? I’m unemployed

What color are your socks right now? Socks?

What are you listening to right now? Creedence

What was the last thing that you ate? In and Out Burger

Can you drive a stick shift? I don’t remember

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? The color of cream and Kalua

Last person you spoke to on the phone? Walter

Do you like the person who sent this to you? I don’t get to West LA very often

How old are you today? Early 50’s

Favorite drink? Oat Soda

What is your favorite sport to watch? Bowling

Have you ever dyed your hair? No.

Do you wear contacts or glasses? Sunglasses

Pets? I briefly had a marmot.

Favorite food? White Russians

What was the last movie you watched? Logjammin’

Favorite day of the year? April 20th

What do you do to vent anger? Bowl.

What was your favorite toy as a child? Blotter paper

Fall or spring? What season is this? Is this….

Hugs or kisses? Hugs

Cherry or Blueberry? Blueberry

Do you want your friends to email you back? Ok.

Who is most likely to respond? Donny

Who is least likely to respond? Maud

Living arrangements? Apt in LA.

When was the last time you cried? When Creedence stopped touring

What is on the floor of your closet? Bowling ball, bowling shoes, all of my clothes, my stash

Who is the friend you have had the longest? Walter

What did you do last night? Drove around and went bowling

Favorite smell? Incense

What inspires you? 1987 Bowling league playoffs

What are you afraid of? Malibu cops

Favorite Hamburger? In and out burger

Favorite car? Dodge Dart

Favorite dog breed? Anything as long as it isn’t a Pomeranian

Number of keys on your key ring? 1

How many credit cards do you have? None. One Ralph’s club card

Favorite day of the week? Can’t tell the difference

How many states have you lived in? Do altered states count?

Favorite holiday? Nope

Name one place you’d like to visit in your lifetime. Pasadena

Wow, the One Red Paperclip guy actually did it.

1. As a new resident to our community you will receive a Community Welcome Package containing local information and promotions from local businesses.
2. The Kipling Chamber of Commerce will give you $200 in Kipling Cash. This Cash can be spent at any local Chamber of Commerce business.
3. You will be given a Key to the Town of Kipling
4. You will become Honorary Mayor of Kipling for One Day.
5. You will be named an Honorary Lifelong Citizen of the Town of Kipling
6. The day we make the trade will be decreed One Red Paperclip Day by our Town Council and everyone will be encouraged to wear a red paperclip in honor of your achievements.
7. Will build the world’s largest red paperclip in dedication to you and your “one red paperclip project”
8. Most importantly to allow you to complete your quest…We will trade to you a house. The house was built in the 1920’s and has been recently renovated. It is locate at 503 Main Street Kipling, SK Canada. It is approximately 1100 square feet on two floors. There are three bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms, kitchen, living room and dinning room. It has white vinyl siding, a new roof and eaves troughs that have been put on in the last few years. We will be sending you pictures of the house as soon as we have had time to touch up the paint.

Kyle MacDonald, do you accept our offer of one house in Kipling for one role in Corbin Bernsen’s movie “Donna on Demand”?

I love it when a silly plan comes together. Bravo, One Red Paperclip.

Rock/Paper/Scissors should be used to solve all silly legal disputes.

Faced with the inability of two bickering attorneys to resolve even the most innocuous scheduling questions without his intervention, a Florida federal judge yesterday ordered the two to meet on the steps of the federal courthouse and resolve their latest quarrel by playing “one (1) game of ‘rock, paper, scissors.’ ” (Read the ruling.)

Judge Gregory A. Presnell of Orlando ordered the unusual measure, which he characterized as “a new form of alternative dispute resolution,” after the two Tampa attorneys had proven unable to agree upon where to hold a deposition, even though both of their offices are just four floors away in the very same building in Tampa.

The Penny Arcade has a great idea for making any conference 1,000 times better. Isn’t Gavin speaking at OSCON this year? I recommend this approach.

(Note: mildly NSFW)

If the magic internet machine is to be believed, a group of baristas at a cafe in Vancouver up and quit en masse. That’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. It reminds me of the horrible diner “Soda Jerks” where the manager would yell at his servers non-stop. Few of them lasted more than a couple of weeks. Why I went there enough to notice this sort of thing is quite beyond me. It’s out of business now, which makes me happy.

I’m just glad that I’m not a company in that boat. Man, in my line of work, if three or four people from one group up and gave notice within a month or so, that’d be pretty bad. Yes sir, pretty bad.

Russ Beattie, one of my former cow-orkers at The ‘Hoo — although in a different location and a different business unit, so I’ve never actually met him — pointed out that Bill & co have trotted out Big.com again. I think it’s cute that somebody from The ‘Hoo would be more up on Idealab’s goings on than most folk around here seem to be. Good times.

I remember back in the day when Bill first got his hands on Big.com. I want to say that there were plans to do a deal with some consumer electronics chain and be their online presence. The joke around the office was that we would get Shaq — who had been in the office recently, and oh my is he a big man in person — to advertiser for the site, possibly selling banner ad space on his liver. Ah, dot-com. I miss you guys.